September 1, 2011

The Diagnosis

Today I had a flashback to the moment I was told that I had celiac disease.  I was standing at the restaurant where I work, and long story short, everyone was having one of those days.  Working in a male dominated workplace like a kitchen, it can be hard for a girl to hold her own, and I pride myself for never having given into some girly things like, oh, crying when people are yelling at me.  Today though?  I had one of those “almost crying, unable to exhale, trying to pull myself together in public” kind of moments.  And that’s when I had my flashback.  
 The last time I had that feeling was four months ago.  I was sitting in the waiting room at the hospital, in line to get even more blood tests done.  I had been feeling sick for over a year.  What had started as low energy and dizzy spells grew into muscle spasms, blacking out, hypothermia, and extreme mental fuzziness.  All types of doctors tried all types of tests.  They had me worried about heart problems, a brain aneurysm, a brain tumor, and finally, when they thought they had ruled out everything else, hypochondria.  Thanks, Docs!  One doctor finally decided to test for celiac.  I wasn’t worried—I didn’t have any of the common symptoms.  That’s why the phone call caught me so off guard.  It was the most severe case my doctors had ever seen.   
Thirty minutes later I was back at home lying in my bathtub.  Even then it felt like one of those weird scenes from an indie movie where the main character loses her mind after a tragedy.  My face was covered in mascara, and I was laughing hysterically, reminding my mom how I had always dreamed of being a chef and had just graduated with food science degree five days before.  A few hours later (literally) I had made it out of the bath and into my bed where I stayed.  I realize the whole thing was pretty overly dramatic, but I’m sure that those of you with the same diagnosis have a similar sob story.  Fortunately (and ironically) for me, the best meal of my life was only two days away…

No comments: